Scott McCall probably celebrates every International Women’s Day by bringing his mom cupcakes at the hospital
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
on a scale from Matilda to Carrie how well do you handle having telekinesis and terrible parents
things i learned in ancient greek art today:
- Achilles had a gay lover
- Zeus had a boy toy that he thought was pretty so he snatched him up and made him into his wine bitch and kept him under his throne on olympus always
- there was a woman who wanted to be a man so Poseidon changed her sex and then made him impervious to metal weapons to boot
- They made Aphrodite marry a lame and ugly guy and to retaliate she slept with everyone, but mostly Ares.
sounds like high school
when none of ur internet friends are online
my social studies teacher once told us “human beings are the most selfish of all. even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long”
and it has been 3 years since she said this and this is still what i think about at night
I can’t wait to get married because its like a sleepover every night with your best friend.
That’s the cutest description of marriage I’m not even joking
It’s better than ‘betting someone half your stuff that you’ll love them forever’
why is it that everyone can be an asshole towards me and that’s perfectly fine but the minute i have had enough and act like an asshole its all of a sudden not okay